Marry Me Galbijjim

The first time I invited my boyfriend to my place for dinner, I was so nervous. I remember standing in my kitchen, cutting the carrots and Korean radish into large chunks as the short ribs bubbled away on the stove, receiving text updates about his incoming flight SFO to PHL and getting more nervous by the minute. I wasn’t anxious because I didn’t know if he’d like the dish — I knew it would be delicious. No, I was nervous because of the expectations.

This photo was taken September 22, 2021. I’ll title it “Anxiety and galbi stew mise en place.” I even rounded the carrots and radish to make it extra pretty! 😅

Cooking has always been a love expression for me but as a young woman, I couldn’t unhear jokes from high school and college classmates about how a woman’s place is in the kitchen with some stupid punchline about making him a sandwich. I hated these jokes so much and I especially hated that it made me feel insecure about my joy and passion: making a beautiful meal and sharing it with someone I loved.

Anxious questions swirled around in my mind — if I make him this short rib stew this first time, would he come to expect it? Am I falling into a trad (”traditional”) role? What does it even mean to be a “modern woman”? What if he gets to know the real me…and doesn’t take me seriously?

All of these insecurities bubbled vigorously within me but what I learned that night convinced me that there are still good men out there. That he was a “modern man” himself with a good heart. That he didn’t have any expectations. That he knew how to hold my fears tenderly and put me at peace.

So I’m not saying that this marry me galbi stew with kabocha squash, radish and mushrooms will heal you and usher in your future husband like a magic trick — but it just might.

Marry Me Galbi jjim (4 servings)

For the beef broth:

• 4 lbs beef short ribs, fat trimmed
• 5 garlic cloves
• 2 scallions
• 1/2 yellow onion

For the braising liquid:

• 3/4 cup soy sauce
• 4 TBSP honey
• 1/4 cup mirin
• 1/2 large Korean pear, peeled and cored
• 1/2 yellow onion
• 6 garlic cloves
• Black pepper

For the stew:

• 1/2 large Korean radish, cut into large chunks
• 2 large carrots, cut into large chunks
• 6 pyogo aka shiitake mushrooms, stemmed and cut into quarters
• 1/2 small kabocha squash, cut into large chunks
• 10 chestnuts, roasted and peeled (optional) - frozen chestnuts also work
• 2 jujubes aka Korean dates (optional)
• 5 scallion, sliced into 3 inch pieces
• 1/4 cup pine nuts

Step 1. Soak the ribs in a big bowl of cold water to draw out the blood. After about 20 minutes, dump the water and cover the ribs with cold water again for a second soak. After another 20 minutes, dump the water and put the ribs in a large pot and cover with fresh cold water, about 6-7 cups. Add garlic, scallion, and onion and bring to a boil. Reduce to medium low and simmer, skimming off any scum or oil that collects around the edge as it simmers. After 30 minutes, carefully strain to separate the ribs and aromatics from the liquid. Refrigerate the broth (this will help separate the fat making it easier to remove as it solidifies). When cool enough to handle, put the ribs back into the empty pot. Discard the aromatics.

Step 2. In a blender, combine the ingredients for the braising liquid. Add to the pot along with the ribs, plus about 3 cups of beef broth. Bring to a boil and then reduce to a simmer. Cook with the lid on for about 20 minutes.

Step 3. Add the radish and carrots. Cook for 10 minutes with the lid on. Add kabocha squash, dates, and chestnuts. Cook for another 10 minutes with the lid on. Finally, add the scallions and pine nuts and cook for 5 minutes with the lid off. If at any point you need more braising liquid, add more beef broth. Enjoy with steaming white rice and kimchi!